I'm So Sick and Tired of Those God Damn Pirates

Swankamaniacs,

I'm so sick and tired of those god damn Pirates.

I'm going to rant and rave about the economics of baseball for a bit. I'm going to lay it on the line Jim Mora style - the Pirates have no shot at winning under this current system. None, zero, zilch. Zack Duke is going to stay in Pittsburgh in 5 years? Or Jason Bay in 4 years? No, if they're good enough, they'll go to the Yankees or Red Sox, if they want either. If they're great players, they're gone, if they're average, they have a shot of staying.

Red Sox, Yankees, Braves, Cards, As, Angels are the current front runners for the playoffs. Astros are right in the mix. What year are we in? It could be 2002, 2003, 2004,......I can't complain about the As, but the other teams......the fuckin Yankees average salary is higher then the Pirates current highest paid player. That's 25 players averaging a higher salary then another team's highest paid player. Not good.

And now everyone's acting like the Bucs are going to go out and sign someone because the All Star game is boosting ticket sales. Call it pessimism, but.....

It doesn't help that Bud Selig is the commish. I liken him to Homer Simpson and a line I heard the other day. Homer was applying for his first job at the plant, and Burns remarked "I like him - gutsy yet spinelss." Then Smithers says "but sir, this man not only flunked the aptitude test, afterwars he got locked in a utility closet for an hour". Bud Selig is that incompetent in my eyes.

I will say that I am somewhat encouraged by the Pirates young guys. But try chewing on this.: if this group doesn't pan out, its over for another 6 years. The minor league cubbards are now relatively bare, save a few recent number one picks. If at least 3 of these kids (Duffy, Doumit, Eldrad, Duke and Snell) don't pan out its 1985, 1995, and 2001 all over again. Times 5.

Josh Fogg is on his last legs with me. He sucks. Well is pitching like shit but I'll give him one more year. His upside as a number 3 is still there. Redmen, you are out of here. And Oliver Perez, you are making me look so bad. Is he going to pitch again this year?

Daryll Ward has to go too. He's the only guy to put one into the river on the fly, as a member of the Astros of course. Dave Littlefield was at that game and must have started wetting himself.

I hope the Pirates fans who do go to the game boo the shit out of them. Go to hell fellas. And take that no good fucking bastard Paul Maguire with ya.