Blitzburgh

From Big Ben to Has Ben

2005-09-02T14:21:00.000-04:00

I watched the Panthers & Steelers play last night while drinking a bottle, I mean a glass, of Vodka in bed. As you all well know I moved to my hometown of Pittsburgh last August from Charlotte. I brought back in my wife who is from North Carolina and a Panthers fan.

As I watched the 1st quater it was easy to see why the Panthers were picked to win the Super Bowl by ESPN. What I could not figure out is how Big Ben is still going to be the starter. Obviously the job does not go to the person who performs best in camp. I watch his first quater and had to get out and entire bottle of Kentucky Bourbon - which I ended up switching to Vodka because I had to go to work this morning. My head is still spinning from a pass that appeared to have gone un touched by the defense. The ball had a beautiful end over end spiral. It looked as good as a Gary Anderson field goal attempt.

At that point I believe that I coined a new nickname for Ben- HAS BEN! The guy looks worse than the City of New Orleans! The levy has broken!

Hopefully I am wrong - but Jesus the guy looks horrible!

I'm So Sick and Tired of Those God Damn Pirates

2005-08-28T22:04:00.000-04:00

Swankamaniacs,

I'm so sick and tired of those god damn Pirates.

I'm going to rant and rave about the economics of baseball for a bit. I'm going to lay it on the line Jim Mora style - the Pirates have no shot at winning under this current system. None, zero, zilch. Zack Duke is going to stay in Pittsburgh in 5 years? Or Jason Bay in 4 years? No, if they're good enough, they'll go to the Yankees or Red Sox, if they want either. If they're great players, they're gone, if they're average, they have a shot of staying.

Red Sox, Yankees, Braves, Cards, As, Angels are the current front runners for the playoffs. Astros are right in the mix. What year are we in? It could be 2002, 2003, 2004,......I can't complain about the As, but the other teams......the fuckin Yankees average salary is higher then the Pirates current highest paid player. That's 25 players averaging a higher salary then another team's highest paid player. Not good.

And now everyone's acting like the Bucs are going to go out and sign someone because the All Star game is boosting ticket sales. Call it pessimism, but.....

It doesn't help that Bud Selig is the commish. I liken him to Homer Simpson and a line I heard the other day. Homer was applying for his first job at the plant, and Burns remarked "I like him - gutsy yet spinelss." Then Smithers says "but sir, this man not only flunked the aptitude test, afterwars he got locked in a utility closet for an hour". Bud Selig is that incompetent in my eyes.

I will say that I am somewhat encouraged by the Pirates young guys. But try chewing on this.: if this group doesn't pan out, its over for another 6 years. The minor league cubbards are now relatively bare, save a few recent number one picks. If at least 3 of these kids (Duffy, Doumit, Eldrad, Duke and Snell) don't pan out its 1985, 1995, and 2001 all over again. Times 5.

Josh Fogg is on his last legs with me. He sucks. Well is pitching like shit but I'll give him one more year. His upside as a number 3 is still there. Redmen, you are out of here. And Oliver Perez, you are making me look so bad. Is he going to pitch again this year?

Daryll Ward has to go too. He's the only guy to put one into the river on the fly, as a member of the Astros of course. Dave Littlefield was at that game and must have started wetting himself.

I hope the Pirates fans who do go to the game boo the shit out of them. Go to hell fellas. And take that no good fucking bastard Paul Maguire with ya.

Buy Sam a Drink......AND GET HIS DOG ONE TOO!!!!!!

2005-08-18T16:26:00.000-04:00

Swankamaniacs,

Its Mid-August, and in the Pittsburgh sporting world that means two things : the Steelers are crackin' skulls at St. Vincents and the Pirates are 15 games out of first place. Generally, our inevitable optimism over the Steelers and our mind numbing frustration with the Bucs prevails over everything sports related. Nothing else is on the radar, really.

Except this year.

My beloved Pens, which many a so called fan has written off in misplaced protest after a work stoppage which will be hugely beneficial to the organ-I-zation, have reloaded. LeClair, Ziggy, the Recchin Ball, Gonchar, Thiabault, and the goon squad (Roy and Vanderbusche) hit the ice in October. Throw in holdovers Mario, Malone, Fleury, Fata, Jackman, Orpik, and Fata, and its exciting. Oh, and something I heard about the last two Pens' drafts sounds pretty good.

Craig Patrick is a genius. He never gets the credit he deserves. He shrewdly cut salary before the lockout knowing full well what was going to happen. Pure genius.

The one question that lingers over the Pens like one of Flint's daisycutters is the new stadium issue. I know the outrage to publicly financed stadiums, especially in Pittsburgh. I'm not suggesting they (we.....I mean you saps in Pittsburgh) fund it entirely, but assistance in funding or getting the gambling license is absolutely neccesary. What the hell else is bringing people into the city on a mid November Tuesday night, other then the symphony? The other thing to consider here is demographics.....the symphony crowd brings one, Pens fans are another. Its time the city of Pittsburgh looked in the mirror and realized there's zero to do in the city on a Winter or Spring weekday night other then 15% full bars, the Pens and the Symphony.

Overall though, should be a hell of a season. Its mid August, but I'm calling 50-32.

Here's hoping Paul McGuire suffers a terrible, fiery death.

Welcome to Blitzburgh

2005-08-17T18:03:00.000-04:00

Greetings and welcome to the special corner of cyberspace devoted to God’s little piece of paradise - that land of milk and honey nestled in the bosom of the Allegheny, Monongahela and Ohio Rivers. Consider this an online watering hole for airing views on Western PA both large and small, particularly as they pertain to one of the last bastions of strength, honor, loyalty and resolve in American life – Pittsburgh sports.

We trust the opinions here will flow as freely as bourbon and beer on the South Side and that the dialogue will alternately warm the hearts and enrage the tempers of Pittsburghers far and wide. Whether a lifetime resident, or a Pittsburgher in exile, all members of the Western Pennsylvania diaspora can use Blitzburgh to indulge in one of the region’s time- honored traditions – venting about the area’s sports franchises.

Now, as a casual visitor to this fledgling site, or as a functionally literate Browns fan, you might feel compelled to ask, “So, what is “Blitzburgh” all about? Doesn’t the world have enough blogs already?” The answer for the first group is: no, emphatically no. The answer for the second group: consult Hooked-on-Phonics and check back when you’ve mastered lesson seven.

If you have ever happily wrapped your frostbitten hands around a beer at a Steelers tailgate, felt a lump in your throat at the memory of Mario’s return, parked in some sketchy guy’s driveway to avoid paying parking for a game at old Pitt Stadium, thrilled to the replay of Mazeroski’s triumph and despaired at the sight of Sid Bream rounding third, then you know why we are here. So, step up to the bar, order a cold one, and make yourself known.

Ravens Fans

2005-08-17T17:20:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I was down in Maryland and I was at a job site with Bovis Lend Lease. These guys were all talking about how good the Steelers looked against the BEagles. I was of course selling to them so I had to throw out the comment, "Have the Ravens gotten rid of the High School QB Bowler". The all started in on how the Ravens would have won last year if their receivers could catch a ball. I told them that the should be called The Maryland State Correction Ravens instead of the Baltimore Ravens. I think that we should have some fierce dialog. I fortunately had my terrible towel in the car and stood up at the end of the confrence and started swinging it above my head chanting "Here we Steeler's he we go!"

Swankforce 5 Inaugural Editorial - Very Powerful Stuff

2005-08-17T16:24:00.000-04:00

Well, since I'm here, I'll get the ball rolling. Kinda like that little stretch Kordell had a few years ago when he was mishandling the snap.

I was going to write about the game on Monday, but hearing an interview with Roethlisberger and mentioning Kordell above made it perfectly clear what this rant is going to be all about. For years, I've heard about how the Steelers and Cowher rely on a power running game, which is completely accurate. Either of my grandmothers could tell you that a swarming, blitzing defense and run control offense is what the Steelers do. Good. Fine. I liked it.

If I hear one more person talk about how the Steelers don't require the QB to win the game, I'm going to vomit all over the wall and then put my fist through it. What kind of ass backwards theory is this?!?!? The guy holding the football each play you're on offense has the sole responsibility of not losing the game? That's inspiring! Now, to be fair, the Steelers adopted that stance with Roesthlisberger as a rookie, and it was a good approach. But as he gets older, I don't want the best Steeler QB I have known in my life throwing the ball 14 times a game. There better be some type of running/passing balance in line with his maturing.

I think what this approach will do is get the Steelers in a better mindset for the playoffs. I'll never forget the AFC championship against San Diego. O'Donnell chucked it 54 times. With his regular season, no way that guy goes into that game thinking he's going to throw it 35 times, nevertheless 54. Now, that AFC game was an aberration (I like to think they all were except Indianapolis), but the Steelers' need to better prepare themselves for crucial situations, i.e., when your primary ball handler (the QB) is going to need to win the fucking playoff game! I can hear the forks dropping to the plate at dinner tables across Pittsburgh right now! Its truly a stunning concept, right in line with Bush saying human beings were going into the cosmos a few years ago. Alas, I digress. Kordell was the worst, but O'Donnell, Brister, Malone and Stoudt weren't exactly Namath, Montana, Marino and Elway. To give some credit, the only Steeler I know that hasn't had urine running down his leg at crunch time was Tommy Maddox - and that may have been because he was so new to the system that the coaches and press didn't have time to infect him.

I'm not trying to be negative. These guys were 15-1 last year. Every post season collapse, bar none, has been related to a QB collapse (I don't consider the Titans game a few years ago to be a collapse though, more of a screw job). I say get your win-loss footing by pounding the ball in the first 8 games and then open it up more and more for the 2nd half of the season. I like to think of it as taking a proactive approach to the playoffs.

These guys are going to make the playoffs barring an offensive line injury, so try it out - what's the worst that could happen?

Here's hoping that Paul Maguire suffers a terrible fiery death.